


You're not alone

by Kimrou15



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 14:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11128515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimrou15/pseuds/Kimrou15
Summary: What happens when everything you've known is about to change?A story of how Tobin and Alex cope with losing their safety blankets.





	You're not alone

**Author's Note:**

> IM BACK!
> 
> Hey guys, sorry for the delay. What was supposed to be a 3000 word one shot turned into a 15000+ word oneshot. Also my senior year of undergrad really kicked my ass, but I officially have an honours bachelor in human kinetics. 
> 
> Ive been working on this since august and I hope you enjoy it.

**Tob POV**

Since you were little, soccer has brought this joy to your life. As you got older, your love for the game continued to grow. However, for the very first time in your life, you we’re dreading camp. Why? Because for the first time, you would be alone. Cheney retired after the World Cup and Amy was pregnant. As happy as you were for your friends, you were feeling incredibly lonely.

You spent the entire plane ride going over pictures and favourite moments with them. When the plane finally touches down in LA, you sigh before grabbing your stuff and getting off the plane. When you get to baggage claim, you spot Alex there. You make your way towards her.

“Hey Lex” you tell her

“Hey Tobs.” She says as she hugs you.

“Are you ready for this?” you ask her

“Are you?” she asks back

“Touché” you answer

Alex was in the same boat as you since Abby, her mentor, retired at the end of last year. Also, Sydney was pregnant and therefore out for the year.

“Let’s go join everyone babe.” She tells you

You nod in agreement and link your hands together before setting out to find your teammates. When you finally reach the team, you feel a pang in your chest when you remember your fellow new kids aren’t there. Alex must sense your distress because she gives your hand a squeeze letting you know you aren’t alone. You look at her and smile in thanks. She’s there for you now just like she was when you first found out.

_Flashback_

_You and Alex were hanging out in your Portland apartment. You were enjoying your 3 weeks off between the Victory tour and January camp. You were also enjoying your time together as Alex had been traded to the Orlando Pride, the NWSLs’ newest team. You understood why she did it, but you were going to miss your partner both on and off the field._

_“What are you thinking about?” she asks you_

_“How much I am going to miss you when you’re gone.” You admit_

_You see a look of pain flash in her eyes and a part of you feels guilty for causing it. You just wanted to be honest with her. Truthfully, you were proud of what she was doing. Moving from a town and team she loved in order to promote the league and game was an incredible thing to do. One thing was sure, Alex didn’t take being the face of women’s soccer lightly._

_“Hey, look at me Alex.” You tell her_

_She raises her head and looks you in the eyes._

_“Am I going to miss you when you’re gone? Of course I will. But Lex, I’m so incredibly proud of you and what you’re doing. At first it will feel like were worlds apart but it won’t be like that forever. Who knows, maybe I’ll ask to be traded to Orlando next season. We will make it through this. “You say confidently._

_“I love you Tobin.” She says before kissing you_

_“I love you too Alex.”_

_You go back to watching TV. An hour later your phone rings. Your face lights up when you see Amy’s name flash on the screen. Alex smiles at your happiness._

_“Hey A-rod, what’s up? Missed me so much you couldn’t wait till camp to talk to me?” you joke_

_“That’s what I’m calling about Tobin.” She says seriously_

_You immediately stop chuckling at the seriousness of her tone._

_“What’s up?” you ask nervously_

_“I’ve got some good news and some bad news.” She states_

_“Okay.” You say_

_“I’m pregnant Tobs.” She tells you_

_“That’s great Amy!” you say happy for your friend_

_“That mean’s I won’t be going to Rio.” She says sadly_

_As a mother, you know Amy is ecstatic at the prospect of having another child. However, as a professional athlete, you know the timing is crushing her._

_“Oh.” You get out as your face goes white as a sheet when you grasp what she is telling you_

_“I’m really happy for you.” You barely manage to get out_

_The strain it causes you to say it grabs Alex’s attention. She looks at you with concern._

_“Thank you Tobs. You’re allowed to be upset though…” she says before you interrupt her_

_“No I’m not, not for this.” You say quietly_

_“Look, I’m supposed to go pick up Alex from the gym. We’ll talk soon. Say hi to Adam and the little guy for me. Bye Amy.” You say quickly trying to end this conversation as you felt it suffocating you_

_“Bye Tobs.” She says before you hang up_

_You turn and look to Alex with tears in your eyes._

_“Amy’s pregnant.” You tell her_

_She immediately understands the source of your distress. Amy won’t be going to the Olympics. For the first time of your career, you will have to go to a major tournament without Amy and Lauren by your side. You will be the only new kid._

_“Oh Tobs.” She whispers sympathetically and pulls you into a hug_

_Silent tears start making their way down your cheeks. Alex just rubs your back as you cry. She knows there’s nothing she can say in this instant to make things better for you._

_“What am I going to do?” you ask her_

_“You’re going to do what you always do. You’re going to go out there and play amazing soccer. You’re going to go out there and do it for Amy and Lauren while they cheer you on from home, and if you ever miss them, then you call or skype them.” She tells you_

_You nod and take a few shuddering breaths. Alex just continues to hold you. You eventually cry yourself to sleep._

_End of Flashback_

Everyone hugs each other since it had been nearly a month since seeing each other. The longest you had gone in nearly a year without seeing each other. Everyone gets in the van towards the hotel. When you get there, everyone heads to the conference room. The new players stay back. Well, everyone but Sam Mewis and Steph McCaffrey. They head straight for Carli. She acts annoyed, which she probably is partially, but you also can see how touched she is.

You notice one player kind of on her own. She looked young and held a mixture of fear and amazement on her face. You chuckle knowing it happened to everyone when they first joined the team. You walk over to her and you see her eyes widen when she realizes no one else is near her.

“Hey, I’m Tobin, what’s your name?” you ask her

She just looks at you with her mouth wide open.

“Uh-uh-uh.” She stutters

You chuckle at her reaction. You just smile and wait for her to calm down enough to answer. After a minute you see her take a calming breath.

“Sorry about that. My name is Mallory but please call me Mal.” She says shyly

“It’s okay, your reaction is perfectly normal. Everyone reacts that way their first camp. Especially the young ones who aren’t in the NWSL.” You tell her

“Really?” she asks

“Yeah kid. You should have seen Alex the first time Abby spoke to her. I don’t actually think she heard the words.” You chuckle at the memory

“I didn’t, she had to repeat herself. Twice.” says Alex as she comes stand beside you

You see Mal’s eyes almost bulge out of her head being so close to Alex.

“Hey I’m Alex, you must be Mal.” She says to her

The poor kid’s moth opens and closes a couple of times, but no sound comes out.

You and Alex chuckle at the poor girl’s attempt to say something.

“Ok, how about we try this, you have 5 minutes to say whatever you want. I won’t hold it against you as blackmail material in the future. Then we just go one from there as teammates and one day friends.” She explains

“Wow, this is so cool! You’re so good at soccer and you’re so pretty. I love you, you’re my favourite. I have your jersey and used to have a poster of you on my wall. I’ve dreamed of playing with you for years. You’re one of my idols. Can I get your autograph?” she says in what is most likely one breath.

Alex just puts her hands on her shoulders and tells her to breathe. She pulls Mal into a hug and doesn’t let go until the girl relaxes.

“Thank you. That’s all very flattering. Yes I will give you my autograph.” Says Alex smiling

Pugh just smiles as if she’s won the World Cup. Before she can say anything, Jill gets everybody’s attention.

“Veteran’s welcome back to camp. Newcomers welcome. I hope everyone is ready and healthy for an insane camp and what is sure to be a crazy year. Everything that we do is to prepare us for Rio. Only 18 players will make the roster. I wish I could bring you all but I can’t. So give it everything you’ve got and impress me and the staff. With that said, Dawn will be announcing the room assignments.” Says Jill before walking out of the room.

“Alright, listen up ladies. Here are the room arrangements:”

-Lloyd and Solo

-Krieger and O’Reilly

-Mewis and McCaffrey

-Brian and Horan

-Press and O’Hara

-Harris and Engen

-Long and Kling

-Morgan and Heath

-Saeurbrunn and Naeher

-Dunn and Johnston

-Pugh and Sonnet

“What? That’s not fair. Why can’t Hope and I room together?” says a pouting Kelley

“Really Kelley? You seriously have to ask that? The last time we let you two room together, you couldn’t walk properly and the entire hotel floor was sleep deprived.” Says a scoffing Dawn

Kelley blushes an impressive shade of red at being called out, Hope smirks proudly. The team is in hysterics and you can see the top of Mal’s ears are red and she won’t look anyone in the eye.

“Hey, try not to scare the kid off in the first hour.” Says Alex sternly

Hope and Kelley make their way over and Mal looks intimidated by Hope.

“Sorry kiddo, not trying to scare you off just yet. Fair warning, you will hear or see worse during your time with the team. “Says Hope before patting her on the shoulder and walking away.

Mal just looks at you and Alex with a ‘what just happened?’ face, causing you and Alex to laugh.

“Stick with us and we will get you through this camp.” Alex tells her

“I appreciate that guys.” She says sincerely

You notice her visibly relax. Sonnet comes by to bring her to their room while you and Alex make your way to yours.

As you walk in hand in hand down the hallway, you say:

“I can’t believe Jill is letting us room together this camp. I’m not complaining though.”

“I understand her reasoning why but yeah I’m surprised.” Says Alex

You get into the room and start putting your stuff away since it’s a 3 week camp with a game to end it. Not just any game, it’s Alex 100th Cap. Her family was coming, so was Abby although Alex didn’t know that part.

You’re so proud of her. She’s had such an incredible career and it’s nowhere near being over. She’s overcome so much with all the injuries that have plagued her over the years, but she’s been resilient and you know this year will be her best one yet. You’re pulled out of your thoughts when your phone buzzes.

‘I hope you made it safely, have a good camp. I’m a phone call away if you need me.-Amy’

You sigh and toss your phone on the bed without responding.

“Who was it?” asks Alex noticing you suddenly become down

“Nothing important.” You tell her

You can tell she doesn’t believe you but she also doesn’t call you out on it and simply nods.

You spend the night unpacking and watching a movie together. You aren’t generally this antisocial when with the team but you couldn’t help missing your friends.

***** Alex POV**

You and Tobin wake up and go downstairs for team breakfast. It’s one of the quietest team meals and gatherings since you were called up all those years ago. The only ones that rivals are the ones after the 2011 World Cup final, the one after Ali got hurt, the one after lightning retired and after Abby’s last game. Just like every other time, the team dynamic is off. The veteran’s miss their friends and the rookies aren’t sure of their place on the team.

You had saved a seat for Mal at your table and wave her over. You notice the relief on her face at not having to figure out where to sit.

“Hey, how did you sleep?” you ask her

“Good, got more than I do when I’m at home.” She tells you

“Why is that?” you ask curiously

“Didn’t have homework last night.” She smirks in response

“Wow, I do not miss those days.” You laugh

Breakfast is over about 30 mins later and everyone gets on the bus that will take you to the practice field. As usual, you sit next to Tobin. You both ride in comfortable silence while listening to music. You see her phone light up with a notification and you notice it’s a text from Cheney. You can’t tell what it says but you see a look of sadness take over Tobin’s face. You place your hand on her thigh and she looks over at you.

“You ok Tobs?” you ask concerned

She shakes her head no.

“Try not to let it get to you during practice. We can talk about it later tonight if you want.” You tell her

“I’ll try.” She says before kissing your cheek

You grab onto one of her hands, intertwine your fingers and lay your head on her shoulder as she lays down hers on top of yours. The rest of the bus ride is spent in silence.

Everyone gets off once at the field. The coaches tell you to pair up and pass the ball after warm ups. You and Tobin look at each other having a silent conversation before nodding in agreement. She goes to Lindsay, her old PSG teammate while you go to Mallory. You ask each other questions getting to know one another as you pass the ball back and forth. The more time you spend with the kid the more you like her. After, the coaches have everyone divide into positions: forwards, midfielders, defenders and goalkeepers. They then call for 9v9 scrimmage. You expect to be paired up top with Press, but Jill pairs you up with Pugh. It makes you think of the first time you were paired with Abby, which leads to you thinking about how she wasn’t here anymore. You missed your friend and mentor like crazy.

_Flashback_

_You were at camp for October Victory Tour games. They were bittersweet because you would be saying goodbye to Boxxy, Chups and Cheney. Tobin was taking that last one particularly hard. You can’t even begin to understand how she feels. It was a major hit to the team because Lauren is such an integral member and she is still in her prime playing years. You were going to miss your teammates terribly. You’re broken out of your train of thought when someone knock on the door. You go open it and find Abby on the other side._

_You smile at your mentor and one of your best friends. Although Abby smiles back, something seems to be weighing on her mind. You let her in. She makes her way to your bed and sits down while playing with her hands in her lap. You sit down beside her and grab one of her hands to comfort her. She gets up and starts pacing. Whatever is bothering her, it’s big. You give her time to gather her thoughts and settle herself. When she’s calm enough, she turns towards you. She looks torn and sad._

_“Al, there’s something I need to tell you but I don’t know how to do this.” She says nervously, her voice shaking_

_“Abby, take a deep breath. Just tell me what’s bothering you. I’ll do my best to help in any way I can.” You tell her_

_“I’ve been thinking a lot since the World Cup, especially about my future. I’ve accomplished everything I ever wanted and could possibly dream of in my career. I haven’t been at the top of my game for a while and we all know it. My body just isn’t coping like it should with the demands of the sport. So, I’ve decided I’m going to retire.” She tells you_

_“Yeah after Rio, I already knew that Abby.” You tell her confused_

_“No Al, I’m retiring this year. After the Victory Tour to be more exact. New Orleans will be my last game.” She says somberly_

_You just sit there in shock. She couldn’t retire yet. You need her, the team needs her. You aren’t ready. You start to tear up and your body is shaking. Abby immediately sits beside you and pulls you onto her lap then wraps her arms around you. You cry into the crook of her neck and holds on to her tightly. She rubs your back and tells you it’s going to be okay._

_“You’re leaving me?” you whisper sadly._

_“Hey, look at me Lex., I’m retiring but I am never leaving you. If you need me I’m always a phone call away. I’ll jump on the first plane, I’ll run to you if I have to. You will never be alone.” She tells you adamantly and lovingly._

_“I’m not ready to lose you.” You tell her_

_“I know. My mind and my heart want to keep playing, but my body is saying it’s had enough. If I could stay and play with you for the rest of my life, I would. But I can’t, and that’s alright. I’m going to cheer you and the team on every step of the way. Eventually, some kid will join the team and you will take her under your wing like I did with you. You’ll become the new duo and she will help you one day beat my record. One day, she will do the same for someone else and you’ll look on as proudly as I will be.” She says_

_“I love you Abby. Thank you for everything. For taking a chance on me, for guiding me, for always being there when I need you. I couldn’t have asked for a better mentor.”_

_“I love you too. Thank you for making these last few years so memorable.”_

_“Who else knows?” you ask_

_“Christie suspects but you’re the first person I’m telling besides the staff. I felt like you deserved to be the first person I told. It’s been you and me Al since you got here.”_

_“Wait, you said you’re retiring in New Orleans?”_

_“yeah.” She confirms_

_“You’re retiring on my 100 th Cap?”_

_“I couldn’t see a better and more fitting way to retire. By finishing my career and passing over the baton to you, or in this case, the captain’s armband. A passing of the torch from the past to the future of Us Soccer.” She says proudly_

_End of Flashback_

Unfortunately, things didn’t exactly work out that way. Due to the cancellation of the Hawaii game, her final cap wasn’t on your 100th Cap, but rather your 99th. Although, she did promise to try and be there for your 100th.

Right off the bat, everyone notices the chemistry you have with Mallory. It’s not the same as with Abby but it’s just as special, and it’s just the beginning.

After practice is done, you find Mal and put your arm around her shoulders.

“Keep playing like that and you might steal my starting spot at some point.” You tell her

“There’s still a long time to go before that can even become a possibility.” She answers

“Well, how about we focus on Rio then since it’s coming up soon?” you joke

She gets really serious all of a sudden.

“Do you think that’s even a realistic possibility for me?” she asks unsure

“Let’s put it this way, if you improve at all like you are sure to do at these camps, then you’re a shoe in. There’s no way Jill would leave you off the roster.” You tell her confidently

“Then I’ll work hard. I won’t let her down and I won’t let you down. I promise, I’ll surprise you and make you proud one day.” She says.

You can hear the promise in her voice.

“You already have. I can’t wait to see where time will take you.” You tell her as you pat her on the shoulder before making your way to the bus.

Had you looked back, you would have seen her eyes widen in shock and a proud smile on her face before resolve taking over her features. If you had looked left, you’d have seen someone smiling at the interaction and discreetly taking a picture of you two.

***** Tob POV**

You couldn’t help but smile at their interaction. This was the start of something special, you were sure of it. You send the picture to the one person you know it will mean the most too.

Tob- *insert picture* America’s next greatest threat/duo

You make your way to the bus and sit next to Alex. She smiles warmly at you, you give her a smile in return. You place your head on her shoulder and spend the bus ride back to the hotel in silence. Once there, you go up to the room. You both sit for a second before getting ready for an ice bath. You both get into the bath gingerly. You both hate them but they really do work.

“Did you get a chance to take a look at Pugh today? Asks Alex

“I did, the kid is so incredibly talented and she’s not even 18 yet. Anson must be all over her.” You say

“Pfft, like she’d ever choose to go to UNC.” Alex says half teasing half serious

“Way better than Cal. It’ll be interesting to see what she chooses that’s for sure.”

“If this is how she plays now, I can’t wait to see what a couple of years on the national team will do for her.” Say Alex

Although she probably didn’t notice it, the pride in her voice didn’t escape you. This kid will be good for both Alex and the team.

“I agree. She will go a long way towards replacing the players we’ve lost.” You say sadly

“I miss them too Tobs.” She says sadly

Before you have a chance to respond, the timer goes off signaling you both to get out. You dry off and table the conversation for now.

*

You both took a shower and got a nap in before team dinner. You and Alex once again have Mal join your table. People spend the first part of dinner talking about what they did over the holidays. Then, they all took some time getting to know Pugh by asking her about school, her friends and her family.

“Well, you had an incredible first practice with the team Mallory. You came at the perfect time. You have some big shoes to fill but we’re positive you’re more than capable.” Says Hao

Since Christie isn’t here, Hao is the most capped player on the roster. You can see she’s taking on a more motherly role. Won’t be too much longer before she and Dave decide to grow their family.

“Wow thanks Heather! That means a lot coming from you.” Says a blushing Pugh

Everyone chuckles at the reaction and Hao simply smiles and pats her on the shoulder.

“Has anyone heard from Syd, Arod and Cheney in the last few days?” asks Ali

“They seem to all be doing well. I can’t believe 4 of 23 players from the world cup roster is pregnant within 6 months.” Says Hao

“Yeah, at this rate Dawn will start handing out birth control along the vitamins.” Jokes Ashlyn

“Jill must be so incredibly happy that half the team is gay.” Adds Kelley

“Just remember Mallory, boys have cooties. It’s best to stay away from them.” Ashlyn says 100% seriously

“Yeah, might as well switch to women. That way we don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant and having to replace you too.” Teases Kelley

Mallory’s eyes go wide as she chokes on the sip of water she had just taken. Alex quickly pats her on the back to help clear out her airway as everyone at the table laughs at her reaction. When she can finally speak, she says:

“Um, no worries on that. I’m just a kid and I plan on enjoying it and many more years of my life before having to take care of somebody else’s. “She says seriously

Everyone can see the disgust on her face at the thought of having to take care of a baby sending everyone at the table once again chuckling.

After everyone is done eating, Jill tells the room how well the first practice went and how excited she is for the upcoming year. She tells the newer players that this is the time to show their worth due to all the roster spots that have just open up and to work hard as the Olympics roster only holds 18 spots and they’re all up for grabs. The message clear to the veterans: just because you were on the winning World Cup team doesn’t guarantee you a ticket to Rio. According to everyone’s face, the message was clearly received.

*

Once in the room for the night, you finally open the text from Cheney.

‘I hope you have a good first day back at camp. Miss you and Amy like crazy. Call or text anytime Tobs.’- Lauren

You just stare at the phone blankly and sigh. Alex comes up to you, takes the phone, closes it and puts it in your back pocket before putting her arms around your neck.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks you

“No.” you whisper before pulling her into a hug. You put your head into the crook of her neck and breathe in her comforting scent.

“This is good enough for now.” You tell her

She pulls you closer in response and kisses your head lovingly.

***** Alex POV**

You knew Tobin was going to take Amy and Lauren being gone hard, just not this hard. To outsider’s she may seem to be adjusting well, but you could read the truth behind her eyes. They were missing their usual spark. You’ll give it a couple of days and decide from there.

After a half hour of just holding each other, you hear your phone ring. You’re face immediately lights up when you see your mentor’s name. Tobin gets up and tells you she will go visit Lindsay and Allie so you can talk to Abby.

Al- Hey Abby!

Abby- Hey kiddo! How was your first day of camp^

Al- Wow, that made you sound like such a mom. It was good, different though. I miss everyone.

Abby- Yeah transition years are hard but I’m sure the team will be better than ever.

Al- I’m not so sure about that but we will go down swinging.

Abby- That’s my girl. Just make sure you score a couple of goals for me.

Al- I’ll do my best to make you proud. I promise.

Abby- Al, you always make me proud. Just do what you were born to do.

Al- Thank you Abby

Abby- So I heard from others that it looks like that kid came along sooner than expected.

Al- Yeah she did. Abby, this girl is incredible. She’s going to become such an amazing player that’s going to accomplish so many things. The world really needs to watch out for her.

Abby- Then I can’t wait to watch you, her and the team kick some ass.

Al- Thanks for the vote of confidence. How’s retirement?

Abby- Weird. Whenever I see something I want to eat I have to remember that I can without dealing with Dawn and having to run it off later.

Al- Ugh that’s the only part of retirement I’m looking forward too. I’ll have to wait a couple of years though.

Abby- I’m sure you’ll make it just fine. Well, I’m glad things are going well. I just wanted to check up and see how you were doing. I miss you kid. I’m a phone call away if you ever need it.

Al- Thanks Abby. We will talk soon. I love you.

Abby- Love you too. Goodnight.

Al- Goodnight.

You text Tobin letting her know she can come back to the room. She is back shortly.

“Did you have a good chat with Abby? She asks lovingly

“Yeah, makes me miss her though.” You admit

“Yeah, I miss her too. It’s a lot quieter without her here that’s for sure.” She adds

“Do you think we can do it without them Tobs?” you ask unsure

“Do what?” Tobin asks confused

“Win. BE successful.” You clarify

“It won’t be easy. Players like Abby, Boxxy, Cap and Syd don’t come around every day. It will take some time to rebuild but I know we will get there. Seeing players like Moe, JJ and Mal give me hope in the future for Us Soccer.” She says confidently

You quickly notice she doesn’t mention Amy or Lauren. You file that information away for later.

“All we can do is our best. The rest is out of our control.” You say

“Exactly.” She agrees

You both get ready and go to bed.

*

A couple of days go by and the team seems to be getting better. Connections are being made both off and on the field. Tobin was another matter entirely. Her soccer was better than ever. However, off the field, she seems empty. Like a shell of her past self. You were starting to worry. She wasn’t talking to Amy or Lauren and she still refused to talk about them unless absolutely necessary. No one said anything so far, but the veterans were getting worried.

One day, Heather comes over to you when Tobin was out surfing with Kelley and Ashlyn.

“Hey Al, can I talk to you for a minute?” she asks

“Sure Hao, let’s go for a walk.” You tell her before making your way outside the hotel.

“So what’s up?” you ask her

“It’s about Tobin. I’m worried about her, so are the rest of the veterans, and I imagine so are you.” She says

“I am. I thought it would get better with time but it’s only getting worse. Sometimes, I look her in the eyes and all I see is pain and emptiness.” You say worriedly

“Has she talked to them at all recently?” asks Heather

“They’ve both messaged her but she never answered.”

“She misses them.” States Heather

“I think it’s more than that.” You say

“What do you mean?”

“She definitely misses them but I think she’s lost without them. She’s had them her whole adult life. Without them, she doesn’t know who she is, or what to do.” You explain

“That makes a lot of sense actually, but why doesn’t she just talk to them? You know they’d be here in an instant if they knew she needed them. I’m surprised they aren’t here already.”

“Because she’s mad at them and doesn’t even know it yet.” You tell her your theory

“What? Why?” asks Heather confused

“Because they were supposed to do this together, but they left her behind.” You explain

“They might not be here physically, but they are always with her.” Says Heather

“Logically, she knows that. Her heart just doesn’t feel that way yet.”

“Well, what do we do to help her?” she asks

“We be there for her when she snaps because she will. She might be one of the most patient people on the planet, but even her patience has a limit. Then, we help her find herself again.” You tell her

“You’re good for her Al. I’m really glad she has you in her life. Don’t worry, you know me and the other girls would never let her drown in sorrow.” Says Hao

“I know.”

It’s one of the reasons you loved this team so much, you weren’t just teammates, you’re family.

You spend the rest of the walk back talking about the team and how camp is going as well as catching up on each other’s families. When you get back to the hotel, you say goodbye and go back to your rooms. As you walk into your room, you hear the shower turn off knowing Tobin would be out soon. You sit on your bed and check your emails waiting on her to come out.

***** Tob POV**

You come out of the shower and you see Alex sitting on your bed, who looks at you when she hears the door open. She’s got this look in her eye that you know all too well. The one that says she won’t give up until she gets what she’s after.

“Hey Tobs, how was surfing with Ash and Kelley?” she asks

“It was fun.” You say skeptically

“What did you do today?” you ask

“I hung out with Ali for a bit, we got coffee. Then I went on a walk with Heather.” She tells you

“Heather? Is everything ok?” you ask concerned

“See that’s the thing Tobs, she’s worried and she’s not the only one.”

“Worried? About what? I don’t think many people need to worry about their place on the team. I mean Jill isn’t the best coach but I don’t think she’s that stupid.” You say

The more you go on the less certain you become. Sometimes, well 99% of the time you wondered what went through her mind. If anything went through it at all.

“If she’s worried about her place on the team she hasn’t talked to me about it.” She says

“Then what is she worried about?” you ask

“You Tobin. She’s worried about you. Half the team is and so am I.” she tells you

You feel your chest get tight and resist the urge to bolt knowing Alex could and would easily outrun you. Her nickname wasn’t babyhorse for nothing.

“Why? I’m perfectly healthy. I’m playing better than I ever have.” You say hurt that they have been talking about you behind your back.

“Yes you are, but emotionally, it’s a different story. You don’t smile as much as you used to and you shut down the minute Lauren and Amy are brought up. When was the last time you actually talked to them?” she asks concerned

“It doesn’t matter when the last time I talked to them was. That’s my business. Not yours and not the teams. Leave it alone.” You say angrily

“That’s where you’re wrong Tobin. We love you, which makes this our business. So no, we won’t leave it alone.” She says determinately

“Alex, drop it. Everything is fine.”

Your patience is getting dangerously low at this point.

“No Tobin! I won’t drop it. Stop lying to me and stop lying to yourself.”

“ENOUGH!” you shout as you head towards the door

“Where are you going?” Alex asks bewildered

“OUT! I’m done with this conversation.” You say as you storm out, the door slamming behind you

As luck would have it, Ashlyn and Ali happened to be walking back to their rooms.

“Tobs, is everything okay?” asks Ali concerned

“Yeah dude, are you ok?” asks Ashlyn

“Fine.” You bark out as you keep storming off

Ash tries to grab you by the arm to keep you put but you shake her off.

“CAN EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.” You yell before running towards the staircase.

Surprisingly, instead of heading towards the lobby to leave the hotel, you head to the roof. Once the cold evening air hits, your chest no longer feels as if someone was sitting on it. You could finally breathe. However, your anger doesn’t dissipate at all.

You were angry because you felt betrayed by your team. You felt even worse knowing Alex was also a part of it. She should have known better. She should have left it alone. You we’re doing fine. So what if you hadn’t talked to Cheney and Arod in a while? You’re an adult, you could do whatever you wanted.

You take a deep breath and look at the sunset. It’s a sight you always found to be beautiful. Signifying the end of a chapter meaning a new one would begin the next day. Something the traveller in you found poetic. You start to slowly feel at peace. A feeling you haven’t felt a lot in the past year.

_Flashback_

_You and Arod were in the lobby having coffee and catching up with other members of the team, when you see Cheney walking towards you. Something was clearly troubling her._

_“Hey guys, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Says Lauren when she reaches you and Arod_

_Her face looks serious but there was pain in her eyes. You and Amy nod before following her up to her room._

_“Cheney, is everything alrigh?” asks Arod concerned_

_“Yes and no.” she replies_

_“I’m physically fine and nobody is hurt.” She elaborates_

_“Then what’s going on?” you ask_

_“There’s no easy way to say this, but, I’m retiring after the World Cup.” She says sadly_

_“What?” Amy asks surprised_

_“Why?” you ask sadly_

_“I just feel like it’s time. Jrue and I want to start a family and I’d like to spend some time with him. I barely ever get to see him anymore.” She explains_

_“But why not wait until after Rio? You’re still young, you’ll have plenty of time to have children after the Olympics.” Tries Amy_

_“Yeah, what’s a year in a lifetime?” you add desperately trying to change her mind._

_“Jrue said the same thing, but, I’m ready guys. I feel like it’s time. I’ve accomplished and experienced everything I’ve ever dreamed of or I will have by the end of the year. It’s time for me to step away.” She says_

_You hang your head as tears gather in your eyes. There’s no stopping this. You head to the window and look outside, silently asking god for strength. As you look at the sunset, you try to find some kind of sign that everything will be ok, but all you can see is the end of an era._

_“I’m sorry Tobin.” You hear in a saddened and quiet voice behind you_

_“Lauren, I’m sad to see you go and I’ll miss you so much. But, I understand why you’re doing this.” You say as you turn around._

_You aren’t the only one with tears in her eyes._

_She hugs you and it doesn’t take long for Amy to join you. You take this time to thank God for putting Lauren and Amy into your life._

_“Plus, you guys will still have each other and the rest of the team. It’s not like things will change that much.” She says reassuringly_

_End of Flashback_

Oh just how wrong she had been. From the 23 players on the World Cup roster, only 15 remained after pregnancies, retirements and injuries. Things had changed drastically. If felt like things were falling apart. Atleast you still had Alex you told yourself. She of all people should have understood. Abby retired and Syd was pregnant, she basically in the same boat as you.

It suddenly hits you like a tonne of bricks. Alex understood exactly what you were feeling. That’s why she pushed the topic. Although she was hurting, she still talked to Abby and Syd frequently. She was dealing with her feelings. You were not and she noticed. All she was trying to do was help. You feel like crap for not having checked up on her, your grief having blinded you.

You have to make things right. You take a deep breath and make your way down to your room for what will surely be a very emotional conversation.

***** Alex POV**

You couldn’t believe Tobin had just stormed out like that. You don’t remember ever seeing Tobin that mad. Suddenly, you hear someone knock at the door. You know it’s not Tobin but you answer anyways. You see Ashlyn and Ali looking concerned.

“Alex, is everything okay?” asks Ashlyn

“We just saw Tobs storming off towards the stairs.” Adds Ali

“She finally snapped. I was getting worried it would never happen. Now we can finally get our Tobin back.” You explain

“Is there anything we can do?” asks Ali

“Be there for her if she comes to you.” You tell them

“Of course. We’re here for you too if you need it Al.” Says Ashlyn sincerely

“Thanks guys, we appreciate it.” You say

They head to their rooms and you look out the window. You hear your phone ring, surprised but not surprised to see Amy is calling you.

Alex- Hi Amy

Amy- Hey Alex. Do you have a minute?

Alex-Yeah, what’s up?

Amy- Is Tobin okay? Neither Cheney nor I have heard from her in a really long time. We’re getting worried.

Alex- Amy, are you sure you want to have this conversation?

Amy- It’s been put off too long already.

Alex- Alright then.

Amy- She’s not doing well is she?

Alex- No, she isn’t. As happy as she is for you guys she’s also angry and upset.

Amy- At us?

Alex- yeah.

Amy- Because we aren’t there?

Alex- It’s more than that. She feels abandoned. Because of that, she feels guilty and angry at herself.

Amy- Why? She didn’t do anything wrong.

Alex- She feels angry because for the first time, she feels alone. She feels like you and Cheney left her. Then she feels guilty because she remembers why you guys aren’t here. She loves you guys so much, she just wants you guys to be happy. Also, I think she is feeling confused.

Amy- About what?

Alex- Who she is. What to do. She doesn’t know who she is anymore. Since she became an adult and joined the team, you and Lauren have been there. She’s trying to figure out what to do now that you aren’t here to help guide her.

Amy- So what do we do? How do we help her?

Alex- For now, you do nothing.

Amy- Nothing?!?

Alex- Exactly. She will come to you guys when she’s ready. Which I expect to be sooner than later.

Amy- Ok, we’ll follow along for now. How are you handling things?

Alex- It’s hard. I miss everyone and things are changing. We can only pray it’s in the right direction. How are you doing? Everything going well with the pregnancy so far?

Amy- As much as I love being home with Adam and Ryan, I miss you girls and the environment. The pregnancy is going well but peanut here is giving me the biggest case of morning sickness.

Alex- Sorry to hear that but at least the end payoff will be worth it. When do you find out the sex?

Amy- At my next appointment next week.

Alex- Well let us know what colour we should be shopping for. I hope you feel better soon. We all miss you Amy.

Amy- I miss you guys too. I’ll keep you posted. Let us know how things are going and if there’s anything we can do.

Alex- Will do. Take care of yourself and the little one. Give Ryan a kiss for me and say hi to Adam.

Amy- Of course. Take care Alex.

With that being said, you hang up the phone. Barely 2 minutes later you hear the door open and see Tobin coming in. Anger no longer visible on her features, instead you find regret and sadness. She slowly and carefully makes her way over to you, as if she was afraid of scaring you off. She hesitantly wraps you in her arms and lets out a relieved breath when you respond. She calms down as you rub soothing circles on her back. When you feel like she’s ready, you break the hug and pull her onto the bed. You lie down on your back while Tobin lies half on top of you so her head is on your chest and she can listen to your strong heartbeat.

“I’m so sorry.” She says sincerely

“It’s okay Tobs. You’re hurting and you felt backed up into a corner.” You tell her

“It’s not okay. Did I like being backed up into a corner? No, I didn’t, but it doesn’t excuse my behaviour.” She says

“Well before you go on, I want to apologize for the way you felt. I never wanted you to feel like I betrayed you and that we are talking behind your back. I love you Tobin, so does every other person here. We’re just worried about you. We want you to be happy and it doesn’t seem like you have been in a while. Talk to me Tobs.” You say lovingly

“It’s nothing major Alex, I just miss Arod and Cheney.” She says

You can tell right away, that’s not the whole truth.

“There’s more to it, I know there is. I want to help you Tobin but I can’t do that if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.” You push

Normally you wouldn’t push her past her limits, but she needs this. She rolls over and gets off the bed and makes her way to the window.

“If you already know, then why do I have to say it?” she says with a hint of pleading in her voice

“Because, you need this. It’s the only way you’ll heal and move on.” You explain

“Moving on, that’s exactly the problem isn’t it.” She says coldly

Getting there you tell yourself.

“Tobin, that’s a necessary part of life. It sucks, trust me I know. I wish things could just stay the way they are but they can’t.” you say sadly

Tobin’s face goes blank before showing remorse once again. She comes and sits down beside you.

“Al, I haven’t been a very good girlfriend these last couple of weeks. I realized it earlier. You’re hurting too. I know you miss Syd and Abby, yet you’re putting it aside to try and help me. I should have been there for you.” She says seriously

You reach and grab one of her hands and intertwine your fingers.

“Do I miss Abby and Syd? Everyday. Do I wish they were here right now? Of course. But I’m also happy for them. Syd left for one of the world’s greatest joys: parenthood. Abby accomplished everything she ever dreamed off and left the game better than when she joined it. Her legacy is one for the ages. It was time for her to move on. Syd can always come back. The most important thing is that they are happy, it’s what makes them not being here easier. Knowing they are doing bigger and better things.” You explain

You hope opening up to her about your own struggles and thought process could break down some of her barriers. You never expected for the dam to blow open. Tobin’s got tears streaming down her face, barely holding it together.

“They left me. We were supposed to do this together and they left me.” She says as her body is wracked with sobs

There it is. You wrap her in your arms and rub soothing patterns on her back, whispering reassurances that things will be okay while she cries it out. When she’s able to breathe, she adds:

“Lauren could have stayed one more year before leaving and Amy should have been smart enough not to get pregnant this year.”

You continue rubbing her back as she takes deep calming breaths. You kiss her temple lovingly so she knows your there. A couple of minutes later, she sits up and goes to wipe her eyes but you brush her hands away and wipe them yourself before placing a kiss on both of her cheeks, her forehead and finally her lips.

“There she is. There’s the girl I’m completely head over heels in love with. I’ve missed her.” You say voice full of love.

“I love you Al. Thank you for being so good to me.” She says

“I love you too babe. I’ll always be here for you. Just like I know you will always be there for me.” You tell her

“Al, what do I do?” she asks unsure

“Well, what do you want to do? There are no right or wrong answers here Tobs.” You explain

“I miss them so much, but, I don’t think I’m ready to talk to them yet.”

“And that’s ok Tobs. You have to do what’s best for you. Lauren and Amy know that. You just can’t block everybody out, that’s not healthy.”

“I know. I’ll try to do better and let people in.” she promises

“That’s all I ask. Are you feeling any better?” you ask

“Yeah. I’m starting too. What about you? How are you feeling?” she asks

“I miss everyone but I’m coping. I talk to Abby every couple of days and make Syd text me how she’s feeling and updates on the pregnancy.” You tell her

“Yeah, it’s calmer without them here that’s for sure. Makes me miss the craziness.” She jokes

“It’s definitely different. It will take some time getting used too. We’re going to get through this, so will the team.” You say confidently

“What’s made you change your mind? Not too long ago you were worried that the team wouldn’t make it.” She asks curiously

“You, Abby, kids like Mal. We have the talent. We’ll see if we have the coaching staff.” You joke

“That’s definitely the question of the year. However, we can’t control that. How do you feel about something we can control? Like a movie maybe?” she asks

“I’m in.” you say

“Tobin grabs her laptop and opens Netflix. For the next 2 hours, you cuddled while watching an incredibly funny movie that had you both in tears and left your hearts lighter. It was exactly what the doctor ordered. You both went to bed with smiles on your faces, excited for what tomorrow would bring.

***** Tob POV**

The next few days of camp just flew by. Things were better than ever. Everyone noticed the great and special bond Alex and Mal had created. It’s one that will accomplish many great things and become legendary one day.

Every day, little by little, Mal comes out of her shell and opens up to the team. She jokes around with Alex like she’s known her whole life. It’s a great sight to see. It never fails to put a smile on your face which in turn makes Alex smile.

Everyone had noticed your mood had improved and you couldn’t be more grateful for having such incredible people in your life. The day after your blow up, you had gone to see Ashlyn and Kriegs and apologized for your behaviour. They both told you it was water under the bridge as long as you felt better. They must have talked to the veterans because no one mentioned Lauren and Amy around you. As grateful as you are for the thought, you missed your fellow new kids dearly.

You had just gotten back to your room after your 2nd practice of the day. You were getting your change of clothes before getting into the shower when your phone dinged letting you know you had just received a text. You see it’s from Amy. You take a deep breath and open it. Your eyes immediately fill with tears as you take in the sonogram. Underneath it says:

‘Wanted Auntie Tobs to be one of the firsts to have a picture of baby girl schilling. We’ll be rooting for you this week-end. Go USA!’

You can’t help but let out a sob. How could you ever be angry at Amy for missing the Olympics when the reason is to give birth to what will surely be the most beautiful baby girl? How could you be mad at Lauren for wanting a family of her own? You had been so selfish about what you wanted when Amy gave up one of her dreams to unselfishly bring a daughter into the world.

Alex walks out of the shower and finds you crying while looking at your phone. She panics momentarily thinking something bad must have happened until she sees what you’re looking at. She lets out a sigh of relief and drags you to the bed. She sits down and pulls you onto her lap.

“How are you feeling?” she asks

“I just – How could I have been mad at them for this?” you ask ashamed

“Tobin, you weren’t mad at them for following their dreams you were upset at being left behind. It’s not the same thing and it doesn’t make you a bad person.” She tells you.

“I just feel so ashamed of my behavior.” You admit

“You didn’t do anything wrong, so you have nothing to be ashamed of. I’m sure both Lauren and Amy will tell you the same thing when you talk to them.”

“Really? You think so?” you ask unsure

“I really do Tobin, but you have to talk to them.” She tells you

You take a couple of deep breaths before opening your phone. You click on your group chat with Amy and Lauren and write:

‘Can we skype sometime today?’

It didn’t take long for the responses to come in.

‘Skype is open, call whenever you’re ready. - Lauren’

‘Ready whenever you are. – Amy’

A small amount of your anxiety diminished not only because they responded so quickly but also because there was no hesitation on their part.

“What did they say?” she asks

“They’re ready whenever I am.” You answer

“When did you want to do this?” she asks

“Would you be mad if I said now? I just don’t want to lose my nerve and.” You manage to get out before Alex interrupts you

“Tobin, babe it’s fine. I completely understand. Let me finish getting ready and I’ll be out of your hair. Just text me when it’s okay to come back to the room.” She says understandingly

“I love you. Thank you for being so good for me.” You tell her before getting off her lap

“You would do the same for me. I love you too.” She says

She finishes getting ready, gives you a kiss before wishing you luck and leaving the room.

You grab your laptop and install yourself against the headboard of your bed. You open Skype, take a deep breath and make the call. Not even 2 rings later and their faces show up on your screen. You can’t bring yourself to look at them, the guilt is eating you alive. However, the brief moment you did see them, their faces showed a combination of worry and relief.

Amy- Hi Tobin

Lauren- Hey Tobs

“Hi guys” you barely manage to get out

Your eyes are watering and your throat is constricting from the emotion.

Lauren- Hey, what’s going on Tobs?

Tobin- I’m so sorry

The last shred of control you had over your emotions had dissipated and you start sobbing.

Amy- Oh Tobin

They let you cry while telling you reassurances until you wipe away the tears from your eyes.

Lauren- Now Tobin, we have an idea of what’s made you so upset but we need you to tell us how you are feeling. It’s the only thing that will make you feel better.

Amy- We don’t like seeing you upset. Much less being the cause of it.

Tobin- That’s the thing. You’ve done nothing wrong, I’ve just been incredibly selfish.

Lauren- Tobin, I want you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say. You are NOT and have NEVER been a selfish person.

Tobin- But I was mad at you guys for leaving and starting families. How is that not being selfish?

Lauren- Because you weren’t mad at us for that. You were upset because you felt left behind and abandoned.

Tobin- But I ignored you guys.

Amy- Tobs, you were hurting. I honestly believe that you not telling us was your subconscious way of protecting us.

Tobin- Protecting you from what?

Amy- From pain Tobin. You knew this wasn’t an easy decision for either of us. You bottled things up so you wouldn’t cause us any more pain. You also didn’t want to burden anyone else which is why you didn’t talk to Alex or any of the other girls.

Lauren- Amy is right. Tobin, you are fiercely loyal and protective. You would do anything for the ones you love.

Amy- So, Tobin, you didn’t do anything wrong other than trying to cope the best way you knew how.

Lauren- We also know that might not be enough for you. So, Tobin, we forgive you.

Amy- And we love you.

You once again start crying but your heart has already begun healing. It would take some time but everything would be okay eventually.

Lauren- Now, are you feeling any better?

Tobin- Yeah, I am.

Amy- Good. We can’t have you unfocused for babyhorses’ 100th cap. How is she feeling about that?

Tobin- She’s sad that a bunch of people, including you two won’t be there. She’s especially sad she won’t be able to share this with Abby.

Lauren- That’s understandable. Abby was not only there from the beginning but was also her partner.

Tobin- I know. I understand her pain because I’m also living through it. I would do anything to take away her pain. Which is why I’m flying Abby out to surprise her.

Amy- She’s going to be shocked and happy. She’s also going to cry.

Lauren- What a thoughtful gesture Tobs. I’m sure she will love it. It will be a moment she remembers for the rest of her life.

Tobin- She’s worked so hard to get here. She deserves to have the people she loves there with her.

Amy- And she will because of you. Alex is a lucky girl Tobs.

Tobin- I’m the lucky one cause I get to spend my life with her.

Lauren- You’re such a sap. When did this happen?

Amy- The day Alex first walked into camp.

Tobin- You’re not even here and you still gang up on me. That’s not fair.

Amy- Life isn’t always fair.

Tobin- Fine, then next time were together were ganging up on Lauren.

Lauren- What? Why my?

Tobin- Cause Amy’s pregnant so she gets a free pass until our beautiful niece graces us with her presence.

Lauren- Fair enough.

Tobin- Speaking of nieces, Amy I’m so happy for you. That little girl will never touch the ground. I can’t wait to meet her in a couple of months.

Amy- Thank you Tobin. We’re excited to meet her too.

Tobin- I’ll try to fly out and meet her if it’s before the Olympics, if not I’ll for sure come after. I’ll bring the little princess something back from Rio, and something for the little guy too so he doesn’t feel left out.

Amy- You don’t have to do that Tobs.

Tobin- Of course I do. How else am I going to win favourite aunt?

Lauren- Like I’m ever going to let that happen. In your dreams Tobs.

Tobin- Game on Cheney.

Amy- Ok children, I’m about to have 2, I’d rather not have to take care of 4.

Tobin & Lauren- Yes mom

Amy- So, Lauren, is my little girl going to have someone to play with anytime soon?

Lauren- trust me, were working on it.

Tobin- I don’t need to know this.

Lauren- Prude.

Tobin- Am not. Just don’t need to know every detail about your sex lives.

Lauren- You mean you don’t want to know about that thing Jrue does with his…

Tobin- ENOUGH

Amy- Good one Lauren.

Tobin- Hey guys, I have to go. It’s time for team dinner.

Your face falls at the fact that you have to end your call. You had missed talking to your best friends dearly.

Lauren- It’s okay Tobs. We’ll talk again soon. We’re a text or phone call away. We’re retired so it’s not like we have much going on.

Amy- And Tobin, we are always here for you. Whenever you need us, we will always be there.

Tobin- Thanks guys. I just miss you guys and wished you were still here. It will take some time getting used to, but. I’m happy and proud of what you are both doing. I love you guys.

Amy- We love you too Tobin.

Lauren- Yeah, you’re stuck with us.

Tobin- Wouldn’t have it any other way and I wouldn’t trade our memories for anything. With that being said, I have to go now. Bye guys.

Amy & Lauren- Bye Tobs.

You wave goodbye as you disconnect the call. You text Alex letting her know she can come back to the room. A few minutes later, you hear the door opening breaking you out of your thoughts. You smile at Alex when she comes and sits in front of you.

“So how did it go?” she asks you gently

“It went really well. It makes me feel a bit foolish, as if I blew everything out of proportion.” You admit

“Tobin, you didn’t blow anything out of proportion. You reacted well within reason. Don’t feel foolish.” She tells you

“Thanks for getting me to talk to them Al. It really did help.” You thank her

“I’ll always do everything I possibly can to help you. I love you Tobin.”

“I love you too Al. What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“Must have been something incredible.” She teases

“Must of.” You tease back

She smiles at you making you smile in return. You grab a loose strand of her hair and tuck it behind her ear. You gently kiss her on the cheek and then on the lips.

“Al, there’s still one thing that’s been bothering me.” You tell her seriously but reluctantly

“What is it Tobs?” she asks you

“The pitch jump. I don’t think I can do it without them.” You admit sadly

“It’s normal to feel that way. But you shouldn’t be looking at it as doing the jump without them.” She tells you

“How should I look at it then?” you ask curiously

“As doing it for them.” She explains

The logic behind her explanation is not lost on you. However, you heart is still conflicted.

“Can I think about it?” you ask her

“Of course Tobs. How would you feel about you and I starting a new tradition for game days?”

“You’d do that for me?” you ask surprised

“I’d do whatever it take to make you happy and keep that beautiful smile on your face.” She says lovingly

“You make me happy every day. But okay. What did you have in mind?”  

“Give me a couple of days to figure that out?” she asks

“Anything for you.” You tell her

You cuddle until it’s time to go to team dinner.

***** Alex POV**

Team dinner went great. Tobin was back to her old self again. You couldn’t be happier. Actually, that’s not exactly true. Abby had called while you were letting Tobin skype Amy and Lauren, saying something came up that she couldn’t get out of and wouldn’t be able to attend your 100th cap. You were disappointed but you understood. She promised to come spend a week in Orlando visiting you to make up for it. Which helped some, but not completely.

You spent the rest of the night playing monopoly deal with Tobin. You had thought about a solution to make the pitch jump easier on her but you couldn’t think of anything. That is, until her nightly routine gave you an idea. You fell asleep debating whether or not you should tell Tobs beforehand or simply surprising her.

*

The next few days of training flew by. The team was right where they needed to be. They were ready. The day before the game was a light and short session. You didn’t practice anything really. It was just about getting touches on the ball. You were passing the ball with Mal like you’ve done all camp. She was quiet today. You assumed it was because she was nervous about tomorrow. It would be the first time she’s on the senior national team roster. She’s not the first and certainly won’t be the last. You had been nervous too, Abby had been the one to calm you down. You missed your friend. You plan to call her tonight.

“Alex?” Mal says bringing you back from your thoughts

“Yeah Mal?” you ask

“I just…Is everything okay?” she ask unsure

“What do you mean?” you ask confused

“You seem distracted but also a little sad.” She tells you

“I’m fine Mal. Really. I’m just missing some of my old teammates that’s all.” You reassure her

“Well, is there anything I can do?” she asks sincerely

“You’re doing it kiddo. You’re making sure I’m okay and don’t wallow. If something was wrong I’m sure you’d listen to me and try to help out as much as you can even if you had no idea what to do.” You tell her

“Thank you.” You add

“You’re welcome.” She says

You smile and move on to a lighter topic before getting on the bus to head back to the hotel shortly.

*

The night after team dinner, there was a team meeting. Jill would announce tomorrow’s line up as well as the game plan. They would also tell us tomorrow’s schedule.

You’re sitting beside Tobin holding her hand as Jill rambles on about last week’s training and what she wants to see tomorrow during the match. Eventually it’s time to announce the starting 11 as well as the subs.

“Alright ladies! This starting 11 is based off what I’ve seen this week only. It’s a new year meaning a blank slate. To those who want to make the next one, show me what you can do or improvement and you might just get the start or at least some minutes.

-Solo in goal.

-Krieger, Sauerbrunn, Johnston and O’Hara on defense.

-Heath, Lloyd, Horan and O’Reilly in midfield.

-Morgan and Press as forwards.

As for subs, I plan on putting in Mewis sometime in the last 20 minutes of the second half, Brian you will probably get around 30 minutes. I will possibly put in a defender but that will depend on the game. Finally, Pugh will be going in, in the first 15 minutes of the second half.

That’s it for tonight’s meeting. If anyone has any questions I will be in my room/office.” She announces before walking out with the other staff members

You looked around and saw some happy faces and some disappointed ones. Pugh on the other hand looked like she was in shock. She wasn’t moving at all.

Tobin squeezed your hand while pointing her head in Mallory’s direction telling you that you should talk to her and that she would see you later. She kissed your cheek before getting up to go talk with some of the other girls.

You make your way over to her and squat in front of her.

“Mal?” you say trying to get her attention to no avail.

“Mallory?” you try again while waving your hand in front of her face.

Still no answer.

You gently place your hand on top of hers and you see the reality sinking in, in her eyes.

“Let’s take a walk.” You tell her gently.

You get up and help her get to her feet. She follows you as you make your way to the elevator. You get off on the last floor. You take the door Tobin told you led to the roof. By now the sun is setting and Tobin was right. It truly was a spectacular view. You both soak in the scenery in silence.

“I don’t think I can do this.” Mal says quietly

So quietly you would have missed it if you weren’t waiting for it.

“And why do you think that?” you ask her

“Because I’m either coming on for Press, meaning I’ll be playing with you. I’m not Abby, I’ll never be as good as her. Or, I come on for you and everyone will think I’m not good enough to replace Alex Morgan. They are obviously right. And oh god! What if I mess up? The entire world will see it. It’ll also be on youtube to be watched over and over again. I’ll never hear the end of it and any possibility of a career as a soccer player will be gone.” She says on the verge of a panic attack.

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down there.” You say stopping her rant.

You grab her hand and place it on your chest over your heart.

“Breathe babe, breathe. Feel my heart beating. Try to match your breaths to mine.” You tell her calmly

You keep her hand over your heart, keep taking deep breaths and reminding her that everything is okay and that she will be fine. It takes a few minutes but she eventually gets her breathing under control. You can tell she’s embarrassed because she refuses to look you in the eye as she thanks you. You place a finger under her chin and lift her head so she’s looking at you.

“Mallory, you have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed of about right now. Especially not with me. I’ve panicked before games before. As a matter of fact, Abby did nearly the same for me as I did for you before my first game.” You tell her as you smile at the memory.

“Really?” she asks

“Really. Well Abby’s version anyway. She’s much louder than I am naturally. It’s kind of funny now that I think about it. Abby telling me loudly yet gently that everything would be ok.” You chuckle

Mal chuckles alongside of you at the image you created.

“There’s that smile. Now, tell me what has you so worried?” you ask

“That I’m not good enough. That I’ll fail.” She admits

“Your fears are valid Mal, but I’m here to tell you they’re not true. If you weren’t good enough you wouldn’t have been called up, much less be given playing time tomorrow. As for failing, if you try your hardest and give it your all, you never fail. I just want you to know I believe in you. I’d be honoured to play alongside of you tomorrow or have you replace me. I believe tomorrow will be the start of something great for you and the team.” You tell her

“You really think so?” she asks

“I do. I think that one day you will be the face of this team and I will be buying my daughter a Pugh Jersey.”

“Wow. That really means a lot to me Alex. Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome. What are friends for?” You tell her

Her face lights up when she realizes you truly consider her a friend.

“I don’t know but I’m fortunate to have such great ones in my life.” She says

You hug her and then get up. Mal does the same.

“Let’s go see what kind of trouble the team has gotten themselves into.” You say as you place your arm around her shoulder and lead her out of the room.

She just laughs as she walks out.

***** Tob POV**

You were sitting against the headboard of your bed reading your bible when Alex walked in. She smiles and makes her way to you. You close your bible and place it on the night stand. Alex lays down and places her head on your lap and you start playing with her hair.

“How is she?” you ask

“Well, she almost had a panic attack she was so scared but I got her to calm down and even laugh before we left.” She tells you

“That’s good. What set off the panic attack?”

“That she would either be subbed in for Press and get compared to Abby, or being subbed in for me and being compared to me. Oh, and failing horribly.” She explains

“She’ll do fine.” You say

“She’ll do better than fine. I have a feeling.” She says adamantly and confidently

“Then I believe you Al.” you tell her lovingly

You sit there in silence for a few minutes until Alex slowly sits up and sits in front of you.

“I’ve been thinking.” She tells you

“About what?” you ask curiously

“About a new tradition for the two of us before games.” She adds

“And? Did you come up with anything?” you ask slightly nervous

Tomorrow’s game still has you on edge.   

“I did. How would you feel about you and I saying a prayer?” she says while rubbing your leg soothingly

“A prayer? Alex, you’re not really religious.” You say surprised

“You’re right, I’m not, but you are. God is important to you so he’s important to me too. Plus this tradition isn’t about me Tobs, it’s about me doing something for you, being there for you when you need me. That’s what I’m getting out of this and it’s all I need.” She explains

You pull her in and kiss her trying to show her how much this means to you.

“Alex, I don’t really know what to say other than thank you for being the best girlfriend I could ever ask for.” You say emotionally

“You would do it for me if the roles were reversed.” She says trying to not make a big deal out of it.

You nod before bringing her in for another kiss.

“Did you want to do one of the common prayers or did you have a specific one in mind?” you ask

“I found one online called the Athlete’s prayer, it was written by a school called Bishop Ryan. I liked it so I figured we could do that one?” she asks

“That sounds more than fine. Can I see it?”

“Yeah, let me pull it up.”

She takes her phone out of her pocket and pulls it up.

“Here it goes.” She says a tad nervous

‘God let me play well, but fairly.                                                                                                             let competition make me strong, but never hostile,                                                                           In this and in all things, guide me to the virtuous path.                                                                            If I know victory, grant me happiness;                                                                                                         If I am denied, keep me from envy.                                                                                                                                           See me not when I am cheered, but when I bend to help my opponent up.                                                               Seal it in my heart that everyone who takes the field with me becomes my brother.                                         Remind me that sports are just games.                                                                                                                             Teach me something that will matter once the games are over.                                                                                And if through athletics I set an example, let it be a good one.                                                                           Amen.’

You sit there in silence soaking up the words, while Alex tries not to fidget with how nervous she is.

“Alex, it’s perfect.” You tell her

“Really?” she asks happily

“Really babe. It has everything that I try to be or do during games.”

“Perfect.” She smiles

However, the smile doesn’t last too long.

“Tobs, there’s one more thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What is it?” you ask

“Have you thought any more on doing the pitch jump?”

“You sigh. You knew this would come up sometime today.

“I have thought about it. I just…don’t know Al. I don’t think I will until I’m there.” You admit

“That’s okay Tobin. I just wanted to see where your head is at.” She says

“I’m okay as can be. I miss them and wish they were here, but there is nothing I can do about that. I just have to get used to this being the new normal and that takes time.”

“Well you don’t have to face it alone. None of us do.”

“I’m glad to have such incredible teammates. Well, when I’m not getting pranked that is.”

You and Alex both chuckle thinking about pranks that were pulled over the years. Having Pinoe, Ash, KO and Syd all on the same team is deadly.

“Agreed. Did you want to go hang out with the team?” she asks

“Nah, I just want to cuddle and watch movies with my girl.”

She smiles before grabbing her laptop. You both agree on a movie and cuddle while watching it.

*

Team breakfast is the same as usual, fun and filled with laughter. Mal’s spirits seem to be up but Alex’s seem to be down. Thankfully, no one mentions it.

Since the game is in the afternoon, everyone is on strict orders to rest/take is easy and to get whatever treatment is needed. Neither you nor Alex need any treatment so you return to your room.

“Hey Lex, is everything ok? You look kind of down.” You say

“I’m fine Tobs, I just wish Abby could be here for the game.” She explains

“I know babe, I’m sorry she couldn’t get out of work. At least your family will be there. Are you excited to see them?” you ask

Hopefully changing the topic will help you keep the secret these last couple of hours.

“Yeah, we don’t get to spend nearly enough time with our families as we wished we could. It will be fun to have dinner and catch up after the game. We should try to plan a trip to visit your family at some point this year.” She says

“It will be fun. That’s a great idea, I’d love to get up to Jersey at some point. Maybe during our bye week?” you suggest

“We can definitely look into it.” She answers

“So Mal seems to be doing better this morning.”

“She does, but I’ll talk to her before the game just in case. Make sure she knows we believe in her and that she’s ready for this.” She says

“You’re a great friend Lex, and someday you’ll make a great captain.” You tell her

“Thanks Tobs.” She says before kissing you

You spend the rest of your downtime playing cards until it’s time for team lunch. After lunch, the coaching staff calls a small meeting. They tell you how things will go with warm ups and the pre-game ceremony. Final game instructions will be given at the stadium.

Before you know it, you guys are on the bus heading to the stadium. You and Alex both listen to your Ipod’s but hold hands the entire short trip. As you get off the bus, there are screaming fans waiting for the team. You guys unfortunately don’t have time for autographs and pictures but you all make sure to smile and wave to them.  

When you finally get to the locker room, your phone buzzes signalling new text. It’s followed shortly by another. You open your phone and notice you have a text from both Amy and Lauren in your group chat.

Amy- Hey Tobin, we miss you and wish we could be there with you. We just wanted to wish you good luck for the game and we will be rooting for you.

Lauren- Near or far we are always with you. Consider this our new pre-game tradition. We love you Tobs.

Your eyes well up at the thoughtfulness of the gesture.

Tobin- I love you guys too. Thank you for this. I really appreciate it and it means a lot to me.

Amy- Kick some ass for us.

Lauren- And try not to nutmeg too many girls today.

Tobin- For sure Amy and I make no promises Lauren. I’ll talk to you guys after the game.

They both say bye before you put your phone away to change.

After everyone is changed and taped, Jill goes over the game plan one last time. You have a few minutes before heading out for warm ups so Alex makes her way over to you. You hold hands as you pray together. You feel lighter after. More at peace.

“Thanks Alex, that was just what I needed.” You tell her

She smiles, happy that she was able to help you.

“Now let’s go warm up so that we can celebrate you, Captain.” You smile and wink at her

“Let’s go.”

You kiss before making your way to the tunnel towards the field. The crowd goes crazy as the team takes the field. You take a deep breath and stop before the pitch line. You take a look around and notice everyone on the team is looking at you, some more discreetly than others.

You feel a momentary pang in your chest because they aren’t beside you. However, you know that no matter where you are they are always with you.

You take a shuddering breath to settle yourself before jumping over the line and joining warm-ups. It doesn’t take long for Alex to make her way over to you.

“I’m so proud of you Tobin. I knew you could do it.” She tells you lovingly

“Thanks for believing in me Al.” you tell her

***** Alex POV**

You were incredibly proud of Tobin for overcoming her fear. This is the beginning of a wonderful year for the two of you, you can tell.

Warm ups are over before you know it. You all make your way to the tunnel and line up. Since you’re the captain today, you are the first in line and will lead the team out. You take a deep breath and enjoy what is sure to be one of the best and unforgettable moments of your career.

You follow the refs out onto the pitch and can’t help but smile. You dreamed of one day playing on the national team as a kid, you never thought you’d make it to 100 games so young if at all. Once you’re all in line you look at your family on the sideline waiting for the ceremony. You can see the excitement and pride on their faces.

The national anthems begin. You respectfully listen to the Irish Anthem while it’s played. When it’s time for the Star Spangled Banner, you place your hand over your heart and sing along proudly.

When the song is over, you and the Irish team shake hands before you and the other captain meet with the officials. You shake hands after the coin toss.

You make your way over to your family and Tobin who are standing on the sidelines with a framed jersey with your name and the #100 on it. The announcer announces the accolades and awards you’ve won throughout your career with the USWNT. As you reflect on your journey, you’re broken out of your thoughts when the crowd goes wild and you hear the announcer say:

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the field, Olympic and World Champion Abby Wambach!!!”

As she makes her way over to you while carrying a beautiful bouquet of flowers, you take a few steps to meet her and pull her into a massive bone crushing hug.

“You’re here.” You say emotionally as your eyes fill with tears

“You didn’t really think I’d miss your 100th cap did you?” she says jokingly

You pull back and smile at her. She gently wipes away a tear making its way down your cheek.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She says proudly

She kisses you on the cheek before handing you the flowers. You both make your way over to your family that greet Abby with hugs. You then all get together for the customary picture. After, you hand the flowers over to your mom and hug everyone. Abby makes you promise to score a goal for her. You and Tobin go back and rejoin the team for the huddle. Carli clears her throat before starting her pre-game speech:

“Alright guys, this is the first game of the year, an Olympic year. That means all these games will be important. We give every game our 100% no matter who we play. Now, Ireland isn’t the best team but don’t under estimate them. Also, Alex congrats on your 100th cap, we are lucky to have such an incredible player and person on our team. Today we play for you for all the times you have played so hard for us. To 100 caps and hopefully 100 more.”

“Thanks guys, now let’s go beat Ireland.” You say

Everyone places their hands in the middle and scream USA. Players jog to their positions and the game begins.

The game starts and you immediately place pressure on Ireland. 6 minutes in, Carli does what she does best. You pass her the ball and she puts it in the back of the net. 1-0 USA!

In the 21st minute Carli once again finds the back of the net off one of your passes. 2-0 USA!

“2 assists so far, nice one Morgan.” Carli tells you when you hug her after her goal

“Thanks Carli, just try not to show me up too much today, my parents are in the stands after all.” You tease back before getting back into position.

7 minutes later, Carli slots one away for a hat trick. 3-0 USA! This was really turning out to be a good game.

In the 45th minute, Carli returns the favour and sets you up perfectly for a goal of your own. 4-0 USA!

The entire crowd is going crazy and so is your team. You are swarmed by your teammates who are overjoyed for you.

“You gave me 2 incredible passes, the least I could do is help you get a goal today.” Carli teases

“You’re such a good captain.” You tease back

By the time play resumes, the ref blows the whistle signaling the end of the first half.

As you head towards the locker room, the coaching staff and the players on the bench all come up to congratulate you.

“Well aren’t you an over achiever.” Says Tobin when she sees you in the locker room.

“Abby only wanted a goal and you gave her a 2 assists bonus.” She adds teasingly

“Well honey, one is for my parents and the other one is for you. Had to thank the most important people in my life somehow.” You tease back

“Charmer.” She says smiling at you lovingly.

You smile back and kiss her before making your way to your locker.

Jill makes her way to the white board to give her midgame speech:

“Ladies, what a spectacular first half. Carli and Alex, way to show up today, 4 goals and 3 assists between the two of you. You make me proud to coach this team, and that goes for the rest of you ladies here as well. Now, I’m liking this momentum so I will be making some changes this half. Mewis, you’ll be starting the 2nd half and replace Carli. O’Reilly, Brian will be going on for you for the 2nd half as well. Sonnet, you’ll be going in around the 70th minute for O’Hara. Finally, Pugh, you will be replacing Press in the 55th minute. Now, I have one more substitution which I will be using, I’m just not sure how yet.

As for tactics, I have nothing to say. You are all where you are supposed to be and doing what you have to. Keep up the great work and let’s bring home the win.”

“Yes coach!” everyone responds

You look over at Mal and you see the panic in her eyes. You find a chair and make your way over to her. You sit in front of her and grab her hands.

“Breathe.” You tell her

“Deep breath Mal.” You add

You see her take a shuddering breath but notice she is calmer after.

“A couple more.” You tell her

She takes a couple of deep breaths until she is okay.

“Thanks Alex.” She tells you

“Your welcome. Now, I know you’re nervous but remember you belong here. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be here. Most importantly, I believe in you Mal. You’re going to go out there and rock it, I know you will. Now, I want you to go out there and do what you were born to do, play soccer. But remember, have fun. This is a special day, one of your will never forget, so enjoy yourself out there.” You tell her

“Thank you Alex, I needed that.” She tells you

“Your welcome. I’ll let you get ready.” You tell her before getting up and bringing the chair with you. As you turn and start making your way back to your locker, Mal says:

“Alex.”

You turn around and find her smiling at you.

“You’ll make a great captain someday.” She says kindly

“Thanks Mal.” You tell her smiling before walking back to your locker.

A few minutes later the team is back on the field and the 2nd half begins. You looked on proudly because even with the subs, it’s as if nothing has changed on the field. It’s still the same quality of soccer. In the 55th minute, Pugh gets subbed in for Press. When she’s close you smile and tell her:

“Let’s do this.”

She smiles and then turns her focus to the game. Immediately, the pace of the game changes, it speeds up. Mal brings this fire to the field. If this is how the girl plays when she’s nervous you hope she gets nervous before every game.

Sonnet comes in for O’Hara in the 70th minute, and Long comes in for Horan in the 75th minute.

Then in the 83rd minute, you do your best to keep the ball in play so there isn’t a goal kick, so you kick it towards the net before falling. You watch amazed as Mal scores her first international goal. 5-0 USA!

She immediately runs to you and jumps in your arms.

“I did it Alex!” she screams in excitement and disbelief.

“Yes you did, and I am so proud of you.” You tell her

You put her down and the rest of the team bombards her in joy and excitement as you watch on proudly. So this is what Abby meant.

Well, this is the beginning of a new journey, one you are certain will be incredible. You can’t wait to see what’s to come.

The rest of the game goes by fast and eventually the ref blows the whistle signalling the end of the game. Both teams shake hands and congratulate the other.

You notice Abby in the field and go to her. She picks you up in a bear hug and twirls you around.

“I only asked for one goal.” She teases as she sets you down.

“I know, Tobin already reminded me. I figured, 3 assists means one for my parents, one for my sisters and one for Tobin”

Abby laughs at the logic.

“Seriously though, I’m so proud of you Alex. I know you were going to be special when I first met you.” She says proudly

“Thanks Abs. I couldn’t have done it without you.” You tell her gratefully

“You could have, of that I’m sure. But I’ll forever be grateful and glad we got to do it together. Best years of my life.” She tells you

“I agree. Hey there’s someone I want you to meet. Stay here and I’ll go get her.” You tell her

She nods and you make your way to Mal.

“Hey kiddo, come with me. There’s someone I want you to meet.” You say smiling

“Sure, let’s go.” She says happy

You lead her to Abby but Mal doesn’t click in until you tap Abby on the shoulder and she turns around.

“You must be the new forward I’ve heard such great things about. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Abby.” She says while extending her hand for a hand shake

But once again, Mal stands there with wide eyes and mouth agape, not a word coming out.

You burst out laughing.

“You’ll have to forgive Mal, Abs. This happens to be a recurring problem with meeting other players.” You say chuckling

Abby laughs along

“You shouldn’t laugh Alex, as I remember, you weren’t much better yourself.” She teases while giving you a playful shove.

“I know, that’s why it’s funny.” You explain

This makes all 3 of you laugh as Mal finally snaps out of her starstruckness.

“Sorry about that. I’m Mallory but please call me mal. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m a huge fan. That header versus Brazil in the 2011 World Cup is legendary.” She manages to get out without stuttering.

“Thank you. I have a feeling I’ll be saying I’m a fan of yours very soon. That was an incredible first cap. Congratulations on your first goal.” Says Abby

“Thank you, that means so much to me. I couldn’t have done it without Alex. She took me under her wing since I got here and made sure I knew I belonged here and that she believed in me.” Says Mal

“Like every good captain should.” Responds Abby while looking proudly at you.

“It will happen one day, of that I’m sure.” Adds Mal

You can’t help but blush at the compliments.

“Anyways, I’m going to go see my parents. It was nice meeting you Abby and Alex I’ll see you later.  Congratulations again.” Says Mal before leaving

“So there’s something important I have to do, I’ll see you at dinner?” you ask

“Of course. See you then Al.” She says hugging you before making her way to the other players.

You spot Tobin talking to Lindsay Horan and make your way over to her. When Tobin sees you she picks you up in a hug and spins you around. She kisses you once she puts you down. You turn and look at Lindsay.

“Mind if I steal her? Someone wants to talk to her.” You ask

“No problem Alex. Great game by the way. The future captaincy looks like it will be in good hands.” She says smiling

“Thanks Linds.”

“You’re welcome.” She adds before walking away

You grab Tobin by the hand and lead her towards the tunnel.

“What’s up Lex?”

“Like I said, somebody wants to talk to you.” You tell her hoping this will go well

“Who?” she asks curiously

“You’ll see soon enough.”

You lead her to an empty office that you had cleared with Heifetz for this. You let her enter first so that she can see her visitors. You know when she has because she freezes on the spot.

***** Tob POV**

“Amy? Lauren? What are you guys doing here?” you ask utterly shocked.

Alex gently pushes you into the room before closing the door and making her way quietly over to a corner.

“You needed us, so here we are.” Amy says as if it’s the simplest explanation in the world

“Like we said, whenever you need us, we will be there.” Adds Lauren

You start crying and they immediately make their way over to you and pull you into a group hug. All the emotions you’ve been holding in are coming out. They just hold you tighter and rub your back soothingly. When you’ve finally calmed down enough, you let go of each other. Lauren wipes away your tears while Alex hands you a tissue.

“Thanks love.” You tell her

She just smiles and winks at you.

“How did you guys get here though?” you ask

“We took a unicorn Tobin. Didn’t you see the rainbow in the sky today?” Says a smirking Amy

“HA HA, don’t be such a smartass. I meant how did you guys get behind the scene?”

“We called Alex after we skyped you the other day and asked if she could set this up.” Explains Lauren

“Why didn’t you guys tell me you were coming?”

“Because you needed to know you could do this without us. You needed to believe in yourself the way we believe in you Tobs. You’ve accomplished great things and you have many more ahead of you. We are here to help you out along the way.” Says Amy

“I love you guys. Thank you for always being there for me.”

“Love you too Tobs.” They both respond

“Man, can this day get any better.” You wonder out loud with the biggest smile on your face

“Now that you mention it, I’ve got some news for you guys.” Says Lauren

Amy must know already because she is smiling.

“What’s up Cheney?” asks Alex as she makes her way over to you.

“Baby girl Schilling will not be the only new arrival this year.” She announces smiling

Alex screams and jumps in joy before hugging Lauren.

“This is amazing news! Congratulations! You and Jrue will make the most incredible parents.” Says Alex

When she lets go. You make your way over to Lauren and give her a hug as well. When you let go, you hand kind of hovers over her stomach and she correctly guesses that it’s your way of asking if you can place your hand on it.

“Go ahead Tobs.”

You squat so you are level with her stomach and place your hands on it.

“Hey little one, it’s your auntie Tobs. I can’t wait to meet you and I love you very much.” You say before getting up and kissing Lauren on the cheek.

“You are absolutely glowing Lauren. You will make an amazing mother. This child couldn’t ask for more.” You tell her sincerely

She smiles at you her eyes filled with happy tears.

Alex wraps her arms around your stomach from behind and places her head on your shoulder. You both stay in silence watching as both Lauren and Amy talk about their pregnancies, the both of them absolutely glowing.

“See Tobs, you’re not alone and you never will be.” Says Alex before kissing your cheek.

You smile and squeeze her arms in acknowledgment knowing that the people in this room will never allow you to feel or ever be alone.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the story. I worked incredibly hard on it these last 10 months. As usual, let me know what you thought of it. Your feedback is always appreciated. 
> 
> Until next time guys.


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